Faith is finding your child after she runs and hides, carrying her to the car as she kicks and screams. Buckling her in as she starts to sob in a panic, begging to not go. Arriving and having to figure out how to unlock her door that she’s keeping locked, then literally carrying her as she fights you. Down a block. Through some doors. Into a new building. Up a long flight of stairs. Into an office so she can visit with a person she doesn’t want to see.
It’s not faith to walk (or force) your child through something difficult because you know the outcome is beneficial for them. Getting a cavity filled. Receiving a medication. Getting them to school. Those things are just being a good parent. Being a good parent doesn’t always feel good, but you know the outcome and it’s worth the discomfort to get to that outcome.
Faith is when you can’t see the outcome and when it feels like you’re betraying your child. When you have to walk them (or physically force them) to do what’s been ordered. When you feel guilty because you don’t stop what is happening, and you don’t know what’s going to happen. Faith is trusting that by going against your instinct and by doing what you have been ordered to do, that that is the right thing.
Faith is making a pact with your own soul that no matter the outcome, you will praise God. That even if He won’t move the mountains, that even if He won’t part the sea, that you will still call His name blessed. It is allowing your child to see that you will follow the authority placed above you with a good attitude, and that you will do everything you can to help them, but that all of your help will be within the boundaries of the rules you are given.
Faith is trusting that all of this is enough. That even though you have no idea of anything, no vision of what the future may be or where the goal line is, or even if there is a goal, that somewhere out there, lies God’s heart to give your child hope and a future. That promises will be fulfilled. That visions will come to fruition. That your prayers are not being stored up for a future time, but that they are being and already have been fulfilled.
Faith isn’t about seeing. It’s not even about believing. It’s about knowing that you can trust Hashem (God) through the times when you don’t know why or if or how or when. Faith is the conviction of things not seen.