I had some amazing things happen in 2010. First, the birth of my son. Secondly, a job change. And thirdly an most recently, a new husband.
I hope to write about my husband’s and my journey during February (the month of looooooooove, ya know), but there’s something I need to post today. I realize you may not understand all of it yet, but bear with me anyway.
You are my favorite thing about 2011. Little did anyone around us realize, but a month ago we were about to get divorced. Everything had built up over the last almost-five-years, you weren’t changing, and I was done with being treated that way. I had begged you and told you it was happening, but it took my heart leaving you for you to wake up and realize and admit what you had been doing and how damaging it was to our family.
I love that you are once again the man I fell in love with. Since our wedding, I haven’t been married to the man I said “yes” to. I have missed him so very much but have done my crying in silence and just endured things because I’m good at that and can find a way to be happy anyway. I wish I had understood that sometimes love says “no” and makes that “no” happen, maybe keeping us less broken in the process.
Either way, my heart is coming back. The journey we will be taking during this year can give us a beautiful ending to our lives, and I am glad we are in it together. Our babies are blessed to have you as their daddy, and I am elated to now, FINALLY, be married to that man I said “yes” to six years and almost five months ago to.
Don’t give up. I am falling back in love with you.