Last night, my husband asked me if it’d be okay if he had a “guy’s night” with his friends on Saturday. Of course I’m okay with this–it’s important to have friends and do things with them! Inside, though, I’m secretly a little bummed. It’s not because he’s not going to be with me, though. It’s because I’m a little jealous. You see, I don’t exactly get to do the same thing with my friends. Sure, there are groups of women whom I know who get together and shop, see a movie, or eat out. There are even more women I know who get together during the day for “play dates” and other such Mom-Socializations. Me? None of the above.
But I want to have friends, and I want to do things with them.
Why don’t I, then?
My husband asked me this, and I realized that it’s because of two things. The first is that I’m a mom and I’m away from my baby far too often. I can’t fathom being away from her during the day and then being away from her BY CHOICE during the evening! Not only does this thought make me feel guilty because I know she needs me, but…I would miss her. I miss her during the day already. I’d go crazy if I didn’t get to spend time with her before bed!
The second reason, I’ve determined, is because the sort of things I like to do aren’t the same things that most women like to do. In fact, I tend to enjoy more male-dominated things like fighting fires and playing paintball. The problem, I’ve learned, is that it isn’t really appropriate for a married lady to call up her guy friends to come over for an evening of fun…know what I mean?
So if I saw Lovebug enough that I actually felt the need to leave her and socialize with “big” people and if I knew other girls who were interested, these are the things we’d do during our “girl’s night”:
*Hike a mountain or gorge, build some lean-to’s out of nature, cook some dinner over the fire, and tell scary stories until we were terrified of peeing alone in the dark. Or maybe we’d just laugh until our belly’s ached so bad we threw up. Then, we’d go to sleep.
*Whitewater rafting. Not floating down a lazy river, but all out use-every-muscle-you’ve-got rafting.
*Texas Hold ‘Em without the gambling with real money part.
*Wine tour. I think this is my best bet for finding some gals to bring with me. It will have to wait at least a year, though.
*Go into a toy store and try every stinking toy we can before being asked to leave.
*Make ridiculously silly music videos with a camera, mix them on the computer, and then upload them to YouTube with our awesome rock band name.
*Actually play real music via a jamming session. I would play drums and probably some keyboard/piano.
*Drum circle with hand drums!
*Snowboard. Except that I sold my board, binding, and boots last year in a moment of “parenthood responsibility.”
*Ride every thrill ride in an amusement park that we can in one day.
*Dress up in our best clothes (meaning striped arm warmers, retro t-shirts, little skirts and either lace up knee high boots (combat, not stripper) or knee-high socks) and make our own sundaes at an ice-cream shop.
*Discuss and analyze deep topics like the spirit’s connection to the brain, achievement motivation, or the physiology of sight (yes, psychopharmacology and physiological psychology were my favorite college courses).
*Quiz each other on how to treat various medical and trauma conditions like cardiomyopathy, cold water drownings, and anaphylaxis. And what about using hypothermia to treat spinal cord injuries?
*Visit a local thrift shop to buy clothes. Then we’d reconstruct the clothing into newer pieces that we absolutely love.