A "Girl’s Night" Out

Last night, my husband asked me if it’d be okay if he had a “guy’s night” with his friends on Saturday. Of course I’m okay with this–it’s important to have friends and do things with them! Inside, though, I’m secretly a little bummed. It’s not because he’s not going to be with me, though. It’s because I’m a little jealous. You see, I don’t exactly get to do the same thing with my friends. Sure, there are groups of women whom I know who get together and shop, see a movie, or eat out. There are even more women I know who get together during the day for “play dates” and other such Mom-Socializations. Me? None of the above.

But I want to have friends, and I want to do things with them.

Why don’t I, then?

My husband asked me this, and I realized that it’s because of two things. The first is that I’m a mom and I’m away from my baby far too often. I can’t fathom being away from her during the day and then being away from her BY CHOICE during the evening! Not only does this thought make me feel guilty because I know she needs me, but…I would miss her. I miss her during the day already. I’d go crazy if I didn’t get to spend time with her before bed!

The second reason, I’ve determined, is because the sort of things I like to do aren’t the same things that most women like to do. In fact, I tend to enjoy more male-dominated things like fighting fires and playing paintball. The problem, I’ve learned, is that it isn’t really appropriate for a married lady to call up her guy friends to come over for an evening of fun…know what I mean?

So if I saw Lovebug enough that I actually felt the need to leave her and socialize with “big” people and if I knew other girls who were interested, these are the things we’d do during our “girl’s night”:

*Hike a mountain or gorge, build some lean-to’s out of nature, cook some dinner over the fire, and tell scary stories until we were terrified of peeing alone in the dark. Or maybe we’d just laugh until our belly’s ached so bad we threw up. Then, we’d go to sleep.

*Whitewater rafting. Not floating down a lazy river, but all out use-every-muscle-you’ve-got rafting.

*Texas Hold ‘Em without the gambling with real money part.

*Wine tour. I think this is my best bet for finding some gals to bring with me. It will have to wait at least a year, though.

*Rapelling

*Go into a toy store and try every stinking toy we can before being asked to leave.

*Make ridiculously silly music videos with a camera, mix them on the computer, and then upload them to YouTube with our awesome rock band name.

*Actually play real music via a jamming session. I would play drums and probably some keyboard/piano.

*Drum circle with hand drums!

*Snowboard. Except that I sold my board, binding, and boots last year in a moment of “parenthood responsibility.”

*Ride every thrill ride in an amusement park that we can in one day.

*Dress up in our best clothes (meaning striped arm warmers, retro t-shirts, little skirts and either lace up knee high boots (combat, not stripper) or knee-high socks) and make our own sundaes at an ice-cream shop.

*Discuss and analyze deep topics like the spirit’s connection to the brain, achievement motivation, or the physiology of sight (yes, psychopharmacology and physiological psychology were my favorite college courses).

*Quiz each other on how to treat various medical and trauma conditions like cardiomyopathy, cold water drownings, and anaphylaxis. And what about using hypothermia to treat spinal cord injuries?

*Visit a local thrift shop to buy clothes. Then we’d reconstruct the clothing into newer pieces that we absolutely love.

Am I alone in this, or are there more friends out there whom I just haven’t met yet?
I miss you, friends that I don’t know about.
Just think of all of the things we could do together once I don’t miss my child…

8 thoughts on “A "Girl’s Night" Out

  1. Oh, on a side note: I do love the girl friends I have. 🙂 And someday, when I don't miss my child, I will even join you in your dining…and maybe even movie going…shopping though…not unless it's a yard sale or thrift shop. I can't push it that far.

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  2. I probably could have written much of this post myself! Except the married lady having a male friend over to hang out thing… If my guy friends were even in this state, I'd definitely have them over! I honestly don't feel it's inappropriate at all, neither does my husband… but all marriages are different.
    Anyway, there are many times when I desperately miss my girlfriends. Unfortunately, none of them live close by and almost all of them are in other states. Post-college, married, plus baby life is truly wonderful, but it is admittedly a little lonely sometimes!
    I've been thinking about trying to meet some local ladies that I would have some things in common with. It's tough to know where to start though!

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  3. Oh man, just hearing all of the things you listed that you'd do on a “girls night out” make me wanna come and hang out with you! A lot of them are just the type of thing that I would love to do! I feel your pain on the whole “missing my friends” thing… I'm the only one not married with no children, so all of my friends who live around here have different lifestyles than I do. I keep thinking that once we have our fertility issues worked out, I can make more mommy friends! Around here, it's either go do mommy stuff, or go to the bars to meet other people…(which is something I wouldn't really enjoy.) Anyways! Back to the topic at hand, I think your girls day/night out sounds like a total BLAST!!!

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  4. Too weird…just the other day I came to the realization that I don't have any friends down here outside of work. Don't get me wrong, I love these ladies to death but we don't get together much outside of work. About 2x a year we go out to dinner and there is one we get together with 2x a month to go geocaching. Otherwise, I spend a lot of time with my husband which I totally enjoy and suppose that is why I don't think about going out with the ladies.
    Being a transplant to SC, I have no family and didn't know anybody when I moveed down. So, just the other night I was talking to a friend of a friend that I met shortly after moving down here (I haven't seen her since but recently met up with her on FB as she has the same dr. I do) and she invited me to a Pampered Chef party. I am not too big on thisgs like that, but I figure I can go and meet more people and we are already talking about a 'Ladies Night Out'.
    However, the idea of white water rafting, hiking, and the amusement park sure do sound fun!! Ahh…remember the backpacking class we were in….I sure do wish we lived closer!
    Love ya, girl!

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  5. lol I have girls night like 3x a month. Our last one everyone brought ice cream or topping and we made ice cream sundaes! Yum! But I gotta say, I do like shopping 🙂 Why make money when you can spend it?

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  6. I do not have any friends. It may sound sad and strange, but so far it has been more than fine with me. My husband and I do many things together but neither one of us really has any friends. He likes to play baseball in the spring, and my daughter and I enjoy watching him do that. I like listening to and playing music so we used to do things like that together before we had my son. He has never had a guys night out just as I have never had a girls night out. People think it is very strange, but we are best friends and don't really feel the need for anyone else to have an extra special night. How much time do you spend away from your daughter for “couple” time with your husband? I would be upset and let down feeling myself if my husband chose to spend time with his friends instead of with me, unless we also made special plans together without the baby pretty regularly. Good luck!

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  7. i Am with you!!! This has inspired me to do my own, what would i do if i had lady friends to do it with list! I was just telling eric that i am not a “typical” girl. You know. I went to a jewelry party the other night and stated to the other women that I don't really like jewelry parties and the only reason i was there was to socialize. Silly me. All the other women there were there to buy jewelry. Eric and I both just joined a softball team, so THAT is a good time! I am coming up with my list….when I come home this summer lets make it a point to do one or 2 or five of these things. Arm wrestle anyone 🙂 Love ya Rachel!
    Mia

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