Weary

I’m jealous today. Jealous of stay-at-home-moms. Jealous of my husband who is at home with our daughter. Jealous of my daughter because she gets to take a nap after keeping us both up night after night. Jealous of people with interesting and active jobs.

I’m tired. Very, very tired. I’m bored. I’m sick of sitting.

In case anyone noticed my recent leave of absence, my family has been sick lately. Like almost 4 out of 4 weeks-long sick. This last week, I didn’t attend work at all–instead, my week was spent visiting the ER and laying on my couch. Severe dehydration due to a stomach virus. Not fun, but it was the first 7-day stretch I’ve had with my beautiful little girl since she was 5 weeks old. I wouldn’t trade it even for my health! She’s thirteen-months old as of yesterday. *sigh* Why must it go so fast?

I am just feeling so worn out and down trodden. Why so weary, oh my soul? It’s not for lack of faith in God. It’s not due to hormones. I am just sick of struggling, trying to take care of my family, know my baby, and work. I’m sick of seeing my husband struggle because he wants to be the one providing for our family, but can’t get the job which will allow for that.

Sometimes, you can try and do everything the “right” way but without receiving any reward for your diligence, faithfulness, or labor.

4 thoughts on “Weary

  1. I know it is never fun to hear….I truly believe everything hapens for a reason. We just need to hang in there and things will come around just when we never thought they would….

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  2. Oh, that sounds hard. Lately I've been finding myself jealous of my husband because my son seems to prefer him. It is a little thing that really hurts. I think we all have hard moments, but they are different kinds of hard. And I think sometimes God lets us sit in those hard moments for a while. I don't know the whys, but I know that in the end things will right themselves. I recently heard this saying: “Everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right, then it's not the end.” Perhaps that's trite, but perhaps that will help. Best.

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  3. I feel your pain in so many ways. We had 2-3wks of sickness in my house too. My husband stayed home for three days first with the kids and I hated that I had to be at work while they were home sick (although he takes wonderful care of them). It's such a hard balancing act when you are a working mom.

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